One 5 (soon to be 6) year old female. May or may not answer to "Princess Leia" depending on her mood. Relatively intelligent although extremely lazy. Photographic memory. Potty trained although prone to "accidents". Capable of acts of sweetness, kindness, and overall cuteness. But also capable of random acts of destruction, terrorism, emotional blackmail and willful malice.
Willing to trade for parakeet.
Comes with free Ewok.
Showing posts with label struggles. Show all posts
Showing posts with label struggles. Show all posts
Tuesday, November 2, 2010
Wednesday, October 6, 2010
Princess Leia Channels Damien
You remember Damien don't you? Cute little chap from The Omen. Nice enough fellow except he's inherently evil.
Princess Leia has been channeling Damien for the past 4 days. Like a bad crossover idea (science fiction fantasy meets horror) our little Jedi princess warrior has been acting like someone straight out of The Omen. Sometimes cruel and calculating, sometimes bewildered by what she has done, often just a fount of pure evil.
The day starts out with the struggle of getting her to drink milk before school. Calculated excuses of "my nose is itchy, I can't drink". To random acts of cruelty like spilling it on her uniform forcing you to change her and thus making you both late for school and work. Finally to sheer acts of evil like "accidentally" spilling the stuff all over the table.
The day is peppered with these random battles and acts of rebellion. I know at some point these little rebels want to break free of The Empire, but I think 5 years old is a little young to start a rebel force of your own. And if she does succeed in seceding? What happens then? She can't even tie her own shoe laces. I don't care how much force is in her, at this point Vader still knows best.
God knows I love her, I really do. But on days like today I feel like hauling her ass back to Tatooine and selling her to some Jawas.
It's a good thing I am wise to her fiendish rebel ways, her subtle Jedi mind tricks. Emperor Palpatine is not so savvy. Just the other day, after having declared her Wii-less until Christmas the previous night because she had broken yet another device, I overheard her talking to the Emperor:
Princess: Palpy....
Emperor: Yes Princess?
Princess: You know I love you.
Emperor: I love you too.
Princess: I want to be with you all the time.
Emperor: I want to be with you all the time too.
Princess: And I always want to make you happy.
Emperor: I always want to make you happy too.
Princess: Can I play Wii this afternoon?
Emperor: Absolutely honey.
See. Jedi mind tricks. The force is strong in this one.
Princess Leia has been channeling Damien for the past 4 days. Like a bad crossover idea (science fiction fantasy meets horror) our little Jedi princess warrior has been acting like someone straight out of The Omen. Sometimes cruel and calculating, sometimes bewildered by what she has done, often just a fount of pure evil.
The day starts out with the struggle of getting her to drink milk before school. Calculated excuses of "my nose is itchy, I can't drink". To random acts of cruelty like spilling it on her uniform forcing you to change her and thus making you both late for school and work. Finally to sheer acts of evil like "accidentally" spilling the stuff all over the table.
The day is peppered with these random battles and acts of rebellion. I know at some point these little rebels want to break free of The Empire, but I think 5 years old is a little young to start a rebel force of your own. And if she does succeed in seceding? What happens then? She can't even tie her own shoe laces. I don't care how much force is in her, at this point Vader still knows best.
God knows I love her, I really do. But on days like today I feel like hauling her ass back to Tatooine and selling her to some Jawas.
It's a good thing I am wise to her fiendish rebel ways, her subtle Jedi mind tricks. Emperor Palpatine is not so savvy. Just the other day, after having declared her Wii-less until Christmas the previous night because she had broken yet another device, I overheard her talking to the Emperor:
Princess: Palpy....
Emperor: Yes Princess?
Princess: You know I love you.
Emperor: I love you too.
Princess: I want to be with you all the time.
Emperor: I want to be with you all the time too.
Princess: And I always want to make you happy.
Emperor: I always want to make you happy too.
Princess: Can I play Wii this afternoon?
Emperor: Absolutely honey.
See. Jedi mind tricks. The force is strong in this one.
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